More Proof I'm An Asshole

* The last money I'll give Giant Eagle.

I’m starting to think the name of my blog should be, “I’m A Complete Asshole. Here’s More proof.” Once again I have  ventured out into the world, had a conflict with a person or persons, and decided to share it with a rant on my blog. I’m beginning to notice a theme, though. And I am repentant enough to root out anything that is contributing to my failure.

The good news in blogging about this, rather than just stewingoverit, is that thespacebar on my $1000 Google Pixelbook has about a 70% failure rate (examples above), meaning  that once I really get going on some train of thought, fingers flying, I’ll look up and see that I have to go back and add spaces in all the places where the bar failed. At least Google Docs points them out with a squiggly line.

Anyhoo so I’m at the local GetGo gas station which is a total traffic nightmare as always because buying groceries at Giant Eagle nets you “fuelperks” discounts on gas. Gas-guzzler-driving-overeaters rejoice! So some pavement-striper worked long and hard on laying out a very specific unidirectional traffic pattern for accessing the pumps. Every pump was in use, of course, so I cued up alongside 2 cars where the one in front had finished and was leaving… or so I thought. Perhaps she had her own blog post to fire off at that particular moment or got a text that her son had OD’d or whatever, but she was fiddling with her phone and not leaving. At a gas station where roughly 20 pumps were in demand by perhaps 35 drivers. But I’m in no particular hurry, so I wait… and wait…

So the person(sic) behind her and next to me starts honking. Is she doing what I am reluctant to do, thinking she’s helping, or am I the problem? She honks some more. So the lead car starts up and begins to drive off and car number 2 is still honking. Suddenly I find myself slamming my car into park and bolting out the door.

Now, mind you, physical confrontation is not my forte. I probably haven’t thrown a punch in 40 years. But what Heather’s particular damage was in this case I could not fathom, so I approached her to inquire directly. Turns out she had apparently been waiting to use pump number 1. All the while sitting at pump number 2. Yeah. I don’t know why I assumed she was using the pump at which she was parked when I arrived. It wasn’t broken, as I recall. Pump 1 offered gas and diesel, which pump 2 did not. But the horn-happy heart of the conflict was driving a Toyota Prius C, which is a hybrid, but definitely not a diesel. So that’s not it. So what was it?

Maybe she just wanted to exit without reversing, which she  could easily have done. I had to reverse to exit and I was in a gigantic Cadillac. But there is a larger point here that I want to address. These conflicts keep occurring for me at the same place: Giant Eagle. What is it about this corporation that puts me and others in a mode to have conflicts in the name of gas and groceries? What is Giant Eagle doing that I can’t get down with?

Well, there’s the aforementioned traffic problems. Not only are they located at the bottlenecks of the locations they inhabit, which technically is good business,  but their layout always adds a dimension of  difficulty to ingress/egress. Whoever engineers the layouts of their parking lots seems to be a deconstructivist/postmodernist of some sort. Then there’s the funnel that smashes shoppers entering and exiting on foot into one central spot. For security, I suppose, which signals shoppers that the Corporation distrusts them and sees them as a threat. Then there’s the promise of low prices, which is a ruse.

During a recent grocery shopping trip I noticed that among all the “Another Price Slashed” placards, many of my favorite off-brand products had been eliminated. Sure, the national brand had been reduced by a few cents, but my go-to brands which tend to be 20% less had vanished. “Slashing” prices by 3 cents was going to cost me 20% more. Advantage? Giant Eagle.

Admittedly, paying $1.61 per gallon on gas at GetGo sure beats $2.41 when I get 18 mpg. And I did wait till the huge tank was quite low to redeem my discount, but as a single man I really struggled to spend enough on groceries to earn the discount. I probably also drove more purposely to use up gas so I could refill an empty tank and thus redeem my discount. So herein lies the problem.

I’m not an idiot. Most people aren’t. I see right away that I’m  being taken for a patsy every time I enter Giant Eagle. I suspect most people do. But we’re here, right? So we try to make the best of it. Maybe I can beat the system. But I don’t like it. I shouldn’t have to. And it puts me in a bad mood being in a store that intends to defraud me and thinks I’m so stupid that I won’t notice. Well, I noticed. And it makes me cross.

So I feel bad for the conflicts I’ve had recently with other Giant Eagle victims. It’s not their fault. We’re all on edge cause we know we’re GETTING FUCKED by a corporation who couldn’t care less and thinks we’re all idiots. Libertarians call this “the marketplace.” So I quit. I’m exiting the marketplace. I’m voicing my disdain for Giant Eagle by giving up on shopping there. I won’t play by their rules anymore.

Giant Eagle won’t notice that I’m gone. Some poor sucker will take my place. But my hope is that I won’t be driven to the point where I lash out at other people who are just victims of a rigged system. Just like me.

*Photo depicts the last money I will give to Giant Eagle. At least for now.